


Typicam Fabula

by EllMan



Series: Typicam [1]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: M/M, Obnoxiously wordy tags, Opinions that may probably clash with a lot of the audience's, Overinflated characterizations, descriptions of common sex practices, some rather overt criticisms that may seem distasteful, warped and probably unfunny to most humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 22:28:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6876502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllMan/pseuds/EllMan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A densely-and-informally-worded romp (in the author's humble though probably incorrect opinion) in which Otacon and Snake confess their love, participate in drama, and then do the do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Typicam Fabula

"I love you, Snake," Otacon admitted in a soft, defeated voice. Massive, wavering, nearly gelatin-like tears seemed to fill his eyes as though he was the protagonist of a Studio Ghibli film. Snake stared at him mutely before he stoically scooped him up in his arms like a Tentacool using wrap, and in spite of the fact that it was a normal move, it was super effective.   
  
As they stood there, Otacon couldn't help but feel like Usagi in Tuxedo Mask's strong embrace.  
  
_This is just like one of my Japanese animes,_ Otacon thought, nearly giddily, blinking away his tears into Snake's chest.  
  
"I love you too," Snake finally replied with as much conviction as he could possibly use, though he felt as though he was dead inside, and additionally was terrified of the idea of love more than the idea of worldwide effective nuclear terrorism. And since they had been spending a couple years combatting it together, it's safe to assume that Snake is pretty scared of that.  
  
At Snake's unprecedented words, Otacon's legs suddenly lost all their function due to him being completely in shock. Not once, in all their adventures, in all of the time they spent putting their lives in each other’s hands and bonding over sarcastic quips and living together in mutual trust and developing secret handshakes that ended in hugs and admitting their deepest, darkest, most twisted secrets to each other and the many comfortable conversations they had that were drenched in obscene amounts of romantic subtext, did Otacon ever think that Snake could possibly love him. Impossible! He wanted to start crying again. In fact, he did start crying again.  
  
To combat the fact that Otacon was slipping to the floor on account of his legs giving out due to raw emotion, Snake effortlessly tossed Otacon up in the air and caught him in his arms so the end result was a very romantic pose where the soldier by trade held the engineer by profession bridal style.  
  
It was just like in all those shoujo animes. You know the ones. Otacon knew the ones, obviously. And the thought of even more Japanese anime shenanigans in his real life made him smile elatedly through his tears.  
  
"Now that's out of the way, let's have sex," Snake said bluntly. He then inwardly cringed. Snake wasn't very good with words or feelings... or words about feelings. In fact, he stringing that many words together in a vague showing of feeling just then was very difficult for him. The only true way he knew how to express his emotions was through very physical means. Like a true man.    
  
Uh-oh, though. Snake's sparse words still triggered something. Otacon's face darkened ominously like the sky before a storm that appears to greatly intensify the drama. And this was the kind of freak storm that comes out of nowhere. Like the ones on the ocean that appear suddenly to completely wreck unprepared ships.  
  
"There's... something you need to know about me first," the meek scientist said slowly, his voice soft and wavering to give him bonus sympathy points.  
  
"I'll love you regardless, I promise," the super sexy super soldier promised. Otacon had never heard so many tender words directed at him before. It was breaking his squishy heart to hear them.   
  
Otacon swallowed, and admitted in a small voice, "I... I... was a bit promiscuous in the past."  
  
"How much is a bit?" Snake asked.  
  
"About... A thousand nameless sex partners?" Otacon's voice was as soft and pathetic as he seemed.  
  
Snake's face suddenly darkened as he felt a harsh and somehow narratively justified feeling of betrayal and jealousy. How dare the man he loved have sexual relations with anyone else! Even before they had met!  
  
But in all honestly, Otacon's sexual history being as such was an obvious thing to assume. Despite Otacon's obsession with Japanese cartoons, his almost full mental surrender to both fictional universes and his engineering work to avoid his real world issues, and his rather quirky and off-putting awkwardness he had around most people, Otacon of course could really get around.  
  
 Why? Well, according to some shallow research, when someone was sexually abused as a minor, they will be promiscuous. Even if this doesn't fit well with the main story or his characterization and it just seems like the generalization and exploitation of real human suffering and issues, reducing complicated emotional and mental anguish that manifests differently in many people to a simple cause and effect for the sake of easily inflating the drama, this plot point is totally sound and is actually imperative to the narrative.  
  
Snake abruptly dropped Otacon like something he could safely drop from waist height without it exploding and blowing off his legs. The thunk that resulted nearly broke Otacon's tailbone, and it did break his heart.  
  
"I thought you said you would love me regardless!" Otacon shouted, curling up in a ball on the floor and starting to cry bitterly.  
  
"That's before I knew that there were a thousand people to be jealous of! What are their names? Do I know them?" Snake snarled.  
  
"I just said they were nameless!"  Otacon snapped through his tears. He muttered something else quietly, something like, "I knew that you wouldn't understand...." but Snake paid Otacon's mumblings no mind.  
  
"Oh, well, that's just great! A thousand-- What else have you been lying to me about, huh?" before Otacon could even open his mouth to respond, Snake had turned around abruptly and had headed off to drink his problems away in the kitchen.   
  
When he returned four beers heavier, noticed that the hacker hadn't moved from his position on the floor. But his cell phone was out and he was clicking buttons with both thumbs with a purpose.  
  
"What are you doing?" Snake asked gruffly. He honestly couldn't even hazard a guess. Cell phones were technology and he couldn't understand the stuff. Hell, getting him to operate the microwave competently was an adventure. Otacon had eventually revoked his privileges after he tried microwaving a spoon to have something hot to make scooping ice cream easier.  
  
Otacon didn't respond.  
  
Snake didn't like that.  
  
He grabbed Otacon, picked him up right from the floor by his collar, pressed their faces close together and repeated, "What are you doing?"  
  
Otacon's eyes widened as he shook violently in fear. The phone dropped out of his hands and landed with a soft thump on the floor. His eyes glimmered wetly and he started crying again.  
  
Snake suddenly realized how incredibly emotionally fragile his partner really was, "Wait, no... stop..." he gruffly begged, feeling completely lost on how to comfort him or even apologize. It just wasn’t his forte.  
  
Otacon pressed his sleeves to his eyes, sopping up his tears as best he could, "Y-you hate me," he stammered, and this time Snake could feel his hard twisted heart cracking along its dry gnarled seams, "I-I don't deserve love or happiness..."   
  
Snake still felt extraordinarily lost. He couldn't do feelings... Or words... Or words about feelings... but... perhaps there was one thing he could do. He looked over Otacon's absolutely grief-stricken, tear-drenched face...  
  
And suddenly they were making out furiously. The only sounds for those next couple moments were awkward gasps, groans and the shuffling of clothing. Tongues tangled together, tainted by the taste of tears and alcohol. It was really sexy, if that wasn't obvious.  
  
Snake pulled away, "You. Me. Bed. Now." he said eloquently. Well, for Snake it was eloquent.  
  
Otacon's eyes grew wide and he nodded furiously.  
  
And so they ended up on Snake's sleeping space, since it was closest, and continued their incredibly erotic makeout session. Naturally, Otacon was lying on his back as Snake pressed him roughly into the mattress.   
  
Now this was the sort of conversation Snake could get used to.  
  
He pulled back and admired the tiny skinny engineer below him. Otacon's face was flushed bright red, his clothes and hair were in a state of disarray, and he looked so beautifully submissive. Just like an image on one of those more risqué anime pillows Otacon for sure shamefully kept somewhere.   
  
Snake suddenly looked nervous. Which was something he never was. Otacon stared at him in confusion, "What's wrong?"  
  
"I want you to take the lead," Snake said tersely. It was a hard thing for Snake to admit, him being the guy who is constantly in control. But, Snake figured Otacon deserved a break from always being in his shadow. If Otacon agreed, they would have had done at least one activity together in which Otacon finally had a bit of power over Snake.  
  
"You want me to take control of this? But I'm never in control!" Otacon cried out in alarm and complete sincerity, "I have no idea what to do! Can't I just follow your lead as always?"  
  
"I know it's unorthodox, but I want you to," Snake said.  
  
"Alright," Otacon said, and was suddenly completely at ease with the idea. He looked up at Snake with hooded eyes, his expression radiating desire, and he suddenly took on the flexibility and grace of a belly dancer, "Just follow me for once," he said seductively.  
  
Snake pulled back more, letting Otacon sit up. He watched in stoic but secretly gleeful delight as the nerdy awkward desk jockey he loved instantly quadrupled his attractiveness by starting out with a graceful and sensual strip show that seemed equal parts exotic and erotic. Not bad at all for a pasty unathletic geek.  
  
First came off the lab coat, then his sweater, shirt, pants... You get the picture. Each article melted off his frame as smoothly as if it were made of water.   
  
After his titillating show, Otacon's body was completely exposed, perfect and beautiful, thin and delicately muscled, the sort of ideal male body a woman might want to have.  
  
Snake took in the sight hungrily.  
  
"Hold on, Snake," Otacon whispered seductively, "You're forgetting something."  
  
There Otacon was, taking charge. Snake looked down and realized he was still fully clothed. He quickly kicked off his pants and undergarments, leaving everything else on. The business parts were uncovered, that's all that mattered to him.  
  
But what business parts they were. Otacon stared at them. Of course they saw each other naked a lot, being men and living together. All men enjoy being naked around each other as often as possible to compare business parts sizes and the like... but even during all their business parts measuring contests, Otacon never quite realized just how businessy Snake's parts truly were.  
  
...and it was getting increasingly apparent that he'd finally be able to see those business parts getting down to serious business.   
  
So serious business is what they did.  
  
Now, as this scene commences, some people may hunger for the more emotional aspects of sex. A sort of romantic take on it where the feelings of intimacy, love and trust come first and the physical bits are glossed over or done in tasteful collaboration so that the final culmination of their feelings can be fully experienced, and they aren’t muddled by every explicit fleshy detail carefully laid out like a tech manual. After all, two very emotionally damaged characters are finally finding the love and acceptance they have always desperately craved in each other's arms.   
  
However, those people are soppy romantics at best. To put too much emotion into such an intimate act is a mistake. It's naive and unrealistic, certainly not suitable for romance. Sex needs to seem realistic, and that comes from being very literal and technical.   
  
So, Snake and Otacon began, making it necessary to include details of Snake's long, hard dick, possibly taking the time to describe its girth, its gently curved shape and any anomalies such as a birthmark on its side, which obviously Otacon found to be very attractive.  
  
First in the process, of course, comes the obligatory oral part where Otacon sucks Snake off. A lack of gag reflex naturally is seen as erotic, but also choking a little and being legitimately uncomfortable can prove just how delicate and beautiful Otacon can be.  
  
However, it's naive to think that Snake would be reciprocating afterwards. That goes against his status as the more masculine of the two. It's very rare that he would ever submit himself to such an act, as it is primarily included to show who the submissive one is.  
  
When Otacon was finished with the prelude, they prepared for the main event. Explicit details are obviously required of the process to dilate Otacon's anus, including the lubrication they used, all the motions necessary, and just how many fingers it took.  
  
Then, of course, was the slow and somewhat painful breach of the anal cavity, and the literal ins and outs of the rest of the procedure, which of course got rougher and more frenzied as time passed until the eventual intense climax where they both got off at the exact same moment, and ended the act in producing a huge sticky white mess that covered the sheets and each other thoroughly.  
  
Needless to say, it was a very emotional experience.  
  
Snake collapsed onto Otacon after their shared orgasm, and they both lay quiet and still as they took in labored breaths, calming down from the best sexual highs of their lives.   
  
Otacon was again crying, but this time in happiness, and the silence was finally broken as he began whimpering Snake's names, both codename and real, interspersed with groveling praise and thanks.   
  
Snake in return took care not be too affectionate in the afterglow. His physical affection began and ended with copulation; like any true man completely divorced from his feelings.  
  
He pulled away to root around in his sidetable drawer, finally succeeding in extracting the pack of cigarettes he kept there. As per tradition after a good screw, he placed one in his mouth and lit up.  
  
Otacon started loudly protesting, yelling passionately due to his concerns about cancer and black lungs and the smell and the possibility of getting ash in his hair, but Snake paid him no mind, taking a slow, sultry drag.  
  
As he breathed out softly, he brushed away a tear on Otacon's cheek. Otacon then grabbed the cigarette out of Snake's hand and stubbed it out with a vengeance on the sidetable's ashtray, complaining all the while. Snake looked on in mild annoyance.  
  
Maybe one day Snake would find out how love and affection worked.  
  
There is always the next story.

**Author's Note:**

> As said before, this story may offend some people. This was not meant to antagonize anyone, it was just something I thought was rather amusing in my own right. I'm not expecting a positive response, if previous iterations are to be taken into account. I am not judging anyone harshly, even if my words may come off to you as such.
> 
> Let it be known that I do not hate you, nor do I hate this relationship. Otasune is one of my favourite pairs currently, and I mean no ill will towards it nor any fans of it. 
> 
> I leave the floor to you, Dear Reader.


End file.
